This song kinda explain the state i'm in now. The lyrics too describes how i actually feel.
Its totally the same!!!
So just wanna say that i'm not how i appear to be actually.

Tracks of my tears - Smokey Robinson

People say I'm the life of the party
Because I tell a joke or two
Although I might be laughing loud and hearty
Deep inside I'm blue
So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears..

Outside I'm masquerading
Inside my hope is fading
Just a clown
Since you put me down
My smile is my make up
I wear since my break up with you..
So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears..
I need you, I need you